Here's to the World of Shot-Stories: One-gulp tales and single-swag sagas, if you will. So sprinkle the salt and hold on to your lemon wedges. WARNING ALERTS! 1: Consume contents at your own pace. Do NOT succumb to peer pressure. 2: The stories come in different sizes. How many you chug depends on how much you can handle. 3: Orange juice in your shotglass will also make you ditzy. 4: Yes, it IS 'storiez' with a Z, cause the bloody S was already taken! 5: And seriously, Don't READ and DRIVE.
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
She was your typical window-seat person.
Walk in first and move out last.
Stuck in that little corner, she loved to stare
At the street lights from up above,
And their reflections in the sky.
She’d break her head over a cryptic crossword,
Or dig her face into a thousand-leaf book,
It didn’t matter if she shivered from the air conditioning
“Who complained about such a ridiculous thing?”
She’d wait patiently for her neighbour, to call
The flight attendant for an extra bag of pretzels
And request for a blanket to avoid turning blue.
10-hour flights were a piece of cake,
For she had mastered the art of manipulating her bladder.
While the kidneys worked hard on accumulating every drop
She’d wait till she was exactly five dribbles short.
Those moments of explosive discomfort
Would nudge her to poke the walrus next to her seat.
He was your regular aisle kind-of-guy.
With his right leg dangling freely outside, he’d make
Small talk with random people in the next row.
He'd keep pressing the light above his head
So he could get another glimpse of that P.Y.T.’s rack.
When the flight purser dished out safety instructions,
Our man in shorts would take a cat nap.
He would complain about the food
The service. And the booze.
Asking if it was free for the 14th time.
Then rise from his seat and take a little stroll,
Counting the number of vacant seats to do a little math.
He’d snort, choke and giggle on a 3:00am flight
Because Chandler Bing said a funny little thing.
But when the wheels hit the ground, he’d be the first
To unfasten his seat belt and make a dash for the door.
They obviously didn’t meet
And nothing really happened.
Cause while he was out there in ‘Baggage Claim’
She was still stuck between the Window and the Aisle.